I'm Just Wild About Harry

To this day... this still makes me laugh. Thank you to YouTube and the rest of the public out there that brought this happy memory back!!! Cheers





More to come soon....

I am working up to it!

A Must See

This is worth a post...



Once I get some of the cobwebs cleaned up, and do something about all the dust around here... HELLO!!! I will post something new.

-More News at Eleven!

Something

And there you have it. I posted something!

Government Review

"Wait," the call came from the Florida Congressman, "time out, okay?"

"Excuse me?" the Speaker responded.

"I have an important event to attend. Can we put off this silly government stuff for a couple of days."

The Speaker's eyebrows raised in a perplexed, yet disgusted manner. "What would this important event be, Mr. Stearns?"

"The Orange Bowl."

A cacophony of murmuring and whispering is heard throughout the floor of the Capitol Building. Additional noise is caused by the staccato movement of Congressional shoulders shrugging and political eyes rolling. There is an omnipresent air of disgust settling throughout the room. The other representatives from the state of Florida and the state of Oklahoma slide down in their seats, afraid to also ask for a Congressional continuance along with the Representative Stearns.

"Let me get this straight," the Speaker replied after a moment of reflection, "we should postpone our jobs here in Washington so that you can go to a football game?"

"Well, not just me. There are others in -" he begins to point to some of his fellow Floridians only to find two of them vehemently shaking their heads and trying to look like they are complete strangers to Representative Cliff Stearns. "And there is -" and he begins to point over to the Oklahoma representatives that have either slid down in their seats or refuse to make eye contact with him. "Regardless," he finally concluded with a sigh, "this is a big event."

I am not really sure how all this really went down, but Florida Representative Cliff Stears has got some huge brass ones for wanting to postpone our government from working so that he could attend the Orange Bowl tonight. I wonder if he paid for his tickets or if they were a 'gift' from a special interest group?

Besides, as long as Oklahoma does not have a lot of male cheerleaders on the sideline, Tim Tebow will have a really good night.

here is the article:

Time Out!

By the Book in 2009

I cannot explain the true reasoning behind most of what compels me to do what I do, but I am going on my third year of tracking the books and short stories I have been reading. Google Documents makes it really easy to set up spreadsheets and I jumped on the opportunity to attempt some semblance of order within the chaos of my life. Additionally, I am anal enough to put the date that I ended the book. Why? Well, sometimes if I can correlate a book with a certain date or time of year, I am more apt to remember the details of the book. Like I said, I do not fully understand how the synapses upstairs work.

But what does this mean for you? Not much, really. I will make another list of recommendations based on what I have read over the past couple of years and you can either say "wow, dude, that book rocked," or "wow, dude, you read some real crap!" I am also going to give you my short list of the books in the queue for 2009 as well. So, if you want to join in on Cortwist's Book of the Month club and read along with me - so, yes, you too can be cool like me! (I say that as I roll my eyes and try not to pass coffee through my nostrils.)

So with no further ado... here is a fraction of the books from the past few years with my humble comments.

1) Slaughterhouse Five - Kurt Vonnegut

Folks, Vonnegut has propelled himself up to the top of my list of inspirational authors. That list includes the likes of Geoffrey Chaucer, Tom Robbins, Margaret Atwood, William Shakespeare, Jack Kerouac, and Douglas Adams. Vonnegut might appear to be all over the place in his books, hopping between space and time with his outrageous characters, but he really was genius. I never knew what to expect with this book and just jumped right in when I had to fly to Los Angeles earlier this year. Including the layover in Denver, I just about finished this book on my way out west. Since this reading, I have plowed through Breakfast of Champions and Cat's Cradle since, and both of which were just as good, if not better.

2) The Master and Margarita - Mikhail Bulgakov

I am still trying to put the pieces of this book together in my head. As I read this book, I felt a little like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz when she was watching all the people and images float by her window. The imagery and events of this book were comical, outlandish and quite enjoyable. There are numerous religious parallels and biblical references that are subtly bound within the book, but the magic show put on by Woland (i.e., Satan) is absolutely brilliant. I will say this, it is a literary journey that requires you to strap on your shoulder harness and, most importantly, recommends that you keep all arms and legs in the vehicle at all times!

3) The Ruins - Scott Smith

This was another one of those books that sucks you in and refuses to let you leave. I admit it has been awhile since I have read a good 'horror' book. Even though, I would not want to classify this one as such, it has got literary balls of brass. I will not ruin the ending for you, but even I was a bit thrown: I was even pissed! But, after much consideration, I concluded that the ending was apt and very appropriate: the author stuck to his guns and I have to tip my hat to him. I will recommend this book, but be aware (beware) this book will not let go of you. You will become bound to The Ruins; and after you read it, you can come back and vent your thoughts on the ending with me.

4) Confessions of an Economic Hit Man - John Perkins

Here is one of my selections from the non-fiction shelf. This book angered me, disgusted me, and added to my overall angst at what our government clandestinely does around the world. The narrator tells of his many business dealings around the world where our government and the World Bank have gone into these third world countries that are rich with resources, but dirt poor from their own corrupted officials and manipulates them relentlessly. What has been done to the third world people of the world, their economies, their way of life, and the their ecological environment will astound you and disgust you. This is not a must read for everyone, and, I fear, there will be those that will call this pure fiction and all part of some conspiracy some liberal dreamed up. But, even if you are not the non-fiction type, this book is very well written.

5) Lisey's Story - Stephen King

Hi, my name is Cortwist and I am an avid Stephen King fan! I have probably said this before, but I have always enjoyed King's books despite what any college English department has to say about him. He is a brilliant storyteller, and I would never go camping with him for fear of some campfire story he would tell that would leave me shivering and awake in my tent all night! And this book is no exception of his story telling skills. This one is a real gem. There is that twinge of horror, suspense, and whatnot, but how he weaves in a parallel world is genius and I highly recommend this one. When King sometimes steps outside his usual genre, he has made masterpieces. The Eyes of the Dragon and The Talisman (with Peter Straub) are two examples I can name that totally blew me away and are still favorites of mine.

Okay, that is enough for you to chew on for now. In the queue for 2009:

The Faithful Spy - Alex Berenson
Moby Dick - Herman Melville (I have never read it)
The Audacity of Hope - Barack Obama
Knights of the Black and White - Jack Whyte
The Siren of Titan - Kurt Vonnegut
Into the Wild - Jon Krakauer
On the Road - Jack Kerouac (it is time to read this again!)
Down and Out in the Magic Kingdom - Cory Doctorow

The Wheel of Time Series by Robert Jordan - preparing for the 13th book late in the year!

Happy New Year and happy reading!

Merry New Year

To all that patron these hallowed halls of the blogsphere, I wish you and yours a very Happy New Year.

Now piss off and do something worthwhile with yourself!!!

Your friend,

Cortwist

Mumble Mumble

Why is it I laugh every single time I watch this???